SPONTANEOUS HAPPINESS

A few years ago, I read Dr. Andrew Weil's book, Healthy Aging, and since then, I've been a big fan.  He's given some great direction to people over 50 years old who want to stay healthy and vibrant.  He opened my eyes to something called morbidity, or the process of dying.  Our choices in life (what we eat, what we do and what we think) actually cause us to start the process of dying long before we actually pass away.   I watched my Dad slowly die over a seven year period as his arteries clogged, his heart weakened, diabetes set in and dementia took over his mind.  My Mom, on the other hand, had lung cancer (that spread to her liver), but was relatively healthy until the end.  Her morbidity only lasted about 30 days.  Dr. Weil says the goal of "healthy aging" is to have the shortest morbidity as possible.

So I was a little surprised when he showed up on Dr. Oz's show yesterday to talk about his long time battle with depression.  He said depression affects millions of Americans and spent about a half an hour taking about different natural remedies, from stopping the intake of caffeine to cutting down on computer and cell phone time.  But there were three things he mentioned that REALLY caught my attention.

First, he stated that in third world countries like Africa, depression is basically non-existent.   It seems that one of the biggest triggers of depression is despondence over the difference between the life that we want and the life that we have.  Apparently, people who want very little out of life tend to be less depressed.  Dr. Weil's contention is that depression is rampant in our country because we tend to be focused on what we DON'T have instead of what we DO have.

Second, he said happiness is not something you can chase, gather or buy.  In his new book, Spontaneous Happiness, Dr. Weil says happiness is simply something you "open yourself up to", it's a state of mind that you can achieve by altering the way you look at the world.  He says he always cringes when he hears the phrase, "in the pursuit of happiness" because happiness is not something you can "capture." Happiness has nothing to do with anything that is "outside" ourselves.

Third, he said that expressing sincere gratitude to someone stimulates our minds and elevates our mood.  It's one of the best ways to reduce or prevent depression.   Many people experience sadness, grief or depression over the holidays, but giving your time, energy and appreciation to others is a sure fire remedy.  Dr. Weil also talked about forgiveness as being similar to gratitude in its positive effects on our mental well being.  He said forgiveness is something you do for yourself, the other person doesn't even need to know about it.

Dr. Weil also mentioned that with today's technology, we are more socially isolated and less likely to spend time face-to-face.  It's so much easier to email, tweet, skype or facebook someone.  But this face-to-face time is essential for our ongoing mental and emotional health.  We are social beings at our core and we need connection with others to truly thrive.

It's interesting to me that more and more doctors, authors, therapists, philosophers, talk show hosts, spiritual leaders, priests, pastors, health care experts, CEO's, CFO's and Ph.D's are all coming to the same conclusion.

Happiness is a personal decision.