A LIFE THAT KEEPS GROWING

Santa made a nice stop at our house and I got a few useful and practical things for Christmas.  But the highlight of my holidays are the phone calls, Facebook messages, emails, text messages and Christmas cards I received from my family, friends and classmates.  It's these connections that stimulate relationships that sometimes fall victim to busy schedules and hectic lives.  The holidays make me realize that my real "net worth"lies in the acknowledgement, appreciation and affection I exchange with the people who are important in my life.

I'm extremely interested in the lives of "centurions", people who live to be 100 years or older.  Some live a very healthy lifestyle while others proclaim that its the daily glass of bourbon that's responsible for their longevity, but they all have two things in common.  First, they have learned to adapt to the many changes that take place over 100 years AND they maintain an active social network regardless of their living situation.

I saw this phenomena in the lives of my parents as they aged.  When they retired in their 60's, they were pretty active, enjoyed the company of friends, traveled and spent lots of time with the grandchildren.  But as they moved through their latter 70's, my Dad's health started sliding and so did their connection to the outside world.  After he passed away, my Mom lasted another three years, but her world became progressively smaller as her health declined.  At the end, only her children and grandchildren could see her as she was unable to come out of her bedroom and had no interest in seeing or talking to others outside her immediate family.

I reflect on that because the times of my life where I was the most sad and depressed were the same times I chose to be the most isolated and detached.  The people who cared about me tried to connect with phone calls, emails, cards, etc., but I chose not to respond.  I made my world as small as possible so I could create this illusion that it's "me vs. the world."  It's easy to be the victim when you stack the odds so heavily against yourself.

Our mental health and emotional growth is highly dependent on the relationships of our lives.  They are the "feelers" that stimulate our thinking, bring us new experiences and exchange the love and affection that we need for basic survival.  Those phone calls and messages that come every December remind me that I'm important in someones life and that they're important in mine.  These are the "life-lines" that are going to keep us alive in the coming decades so we have to do everything we can to nurture and care for those who are special to us.   As humans, our basic needs are acknowledgement, appreciation and affection and you can't get that hiding in your bedroom.

I ran into a classmate in the grocery store a few days ago.  She was really surprised to see me because she wasn't aware that I had moved to Hilo.  Instinctively, we took our cellphones out and exchanged phone numbers.  I'm not sure if I'll ever call her or if she'll call me, it doesn't really matter.  The point of the exercise is that we both "expanded our world" just a tiny bit by adding another person that cares about us enough to take our phone number.

A life that keeps growing is a life that keeps healthy.