EMBRACING THE ENERGY

Early yesterday morning, I called my sister Lani to see how she was doing emotionally.  The funeral of her partner, Michael is today and she was expressing some fear and dread about the entire situation.   One of our family members has been with her since Michael died on July 1, but these last few days, she's been by herself and it's been very tough to bear the brunt of all the arrangements while carrying the weight of the worst grief she's ever felt.   My sister Charlotte and Lani's son, Aaron (pictured above) arrived yesterday and my two brothers, Larson and Bernie, will arrive today.

Lani had been fearful of being in the house (her and Michael shared) alone.  It just seemed too sad and haunting for her.   I told her that when our Mom died, I could still feel her energy in the house, so I decided to "make peace" with it instead of being afraid of it.  I went into the room where she died and thanked God for letting her go so peacefully, surrounded by her children.   When I hear noises in the night, I know it's my Mom and I've trained myself to be comforted by those sounds and not frightened by them.

People have an energy about them and it doesn't go away when they die.  It's possible to "connect with that energy" by simply embracing it as something positive.   We tend to fear what we either don't know or don't understand and most of us mistakenly believe that it's bad to embrace the energy of someone who has died.  It's exactly the opposite.  When a person dies, our relationship with them doesn't end, it changes.   A loved one can continue to bring lots of positive energy and influence into our lives years after they've been gone.  But we have to welcome and embrace it into our lives.

My brother Nick and I were just chatting on the phone yesterday morning about "leaning into the fear."  In his long career as a law enforcement officer, he's been afraid many times but his training has taught him the only way to handle it is to go right into it and that characteristic has served him well in every aspect of his life.   Nick and I both encouraged Lani to "lean in and embrace the situation" so she can connect with Michael's energy and he will help her to come through this difficult time.

Our family has learned to do this over the years.   We drew on my Dad's strength to help us get through his funeral (pictured above) and my Mom's energy was very present months after she made her transition.  Even my grandmother, who has been gone for 37 years, remains present in our lives today because my sister Charlotte still lives in her house so we feel that energy whenever we are there.

Though there is always pain and sadness at the death of a loved one and as our family experiences more losses as we age,  we're beginning to accept the reality of these transitions as opportunities for us to grow and learn.  We're beginning to evolve to a place where we can gain strength from our grief by embracing the energy of our loved one and find peace by knowing our relationship with them may change when they die, but never ends.