WHAT I REALLY WANT

As part of an exercise in a self-development course, we were asked to make a list of the things we really want in life.  Sounds easy enough.  Good health, prosperity, safety for our loved ones and world peace probably topped every ones list.  After about 10 minutes, we were instructed to put the list aside and take out another sheet of paper.

The instructor told us that most of the things we think we want are heavily influenced by what we "should want" and what we believe other people "think we should want."  As a mature and upstanding adult, I "should want" good health and prosperity.  I "should" want hunger and war to end in our world.  If I could have anything, my family and friends would expect me to want good things for them, right?  I wouldn't want to appear to be selfish and self-centered by only wanting things for me, right?

On the second piece of paper, we were asked to write down the things we "really" wanted.  The difference between the first list and the second list, was no one was going to see the second list.  It was simply for our eyes.  We were told not to think about anyone else but ourselves.  At the end of 10 minutes, we were asked to write down one thing on our list and submit it anonymously to the instructor.  She read off some of the items people submitted.

"I want to have so much money that I never have to work again."

"I want someone to cook for me, clean my house and drive me wherever I want to go."

"I want my husband to start acting like he really loves me."

"I want more sex."

"I want my kids to go away and start their own lives."

"I want to have Jennifer Aniston's body."

"I want to play golf everyday."

The point of the exercise was to show us that what we want is usually heavily influenced by what others think of us.  And, that it's hard to admit what we truly want without feeling selfish and self-centered because they are usually things that only benefit us individually.

I tend to believe that it's more a matter of what we want to do with the things we want than it is the things themselves.  It's OK to want a million dollars if you see that money benefiting others.  It's OK to want someone to do your chores for you if you see yourself using that time more wisely.  It's OK to want more love in your life if you believe that will make you happier and that happiness can be shared with others.   It's OK to want a body like Jennifer Aniston if it allows you the physical strength to give a higher level of service.  I'm pretty certain no one was thinking of these reasons when they came up with their lists.

It's a fact that we never really "keep" anything in our lives because everything (and even every one) in our lives is only temporary.  We are simply "recycling bins" that take in energy, knowledge, money, possessions, education, experiences, love and people.   With the experiences we have, we put our unique "stamp" on everything (and every one) that comes into our lives and then we send it back out into the world, to be absorbed, acknowledged and appreciated by others.  At least that's our hope.

We're only selfish and self-centered if we see the world stopping at our doorstep.  It's important for us to want the things that satisfy our needs, contribute to our happiness and raise our consciousness beyond just ourselves.  We need to feel good about what we really want because we can only put out whatever we take in. Desire is one of the two strongest emotions we can feel as humans and is responsible for some of the greatest achievements mankind has ever made.

Oh, what's the other strongest emotion we can feel as humans?  It's fear.