BELIEF IN OTHERS

In my mid-30's I tried my hand at some entrepreneurial projects that didn't turn out well.  I learned an important lesson about how easily things can fail when you don't have enough knowledge and experience and/or enough money to bring the project to fruition.  I was out of ideas, out of money and out of my trade mark self-confidence that had carried me to that point.

Even worse, my credibility was on the line with people who had supported and believed in me.  It was the first time in my life I was truly depressed.

A couple of days later, I got a call from a respected mentor of mine and proceeded to give him the "chicken little" version of the current condition of my life.   He listened for a minute and then interrupted.

"I'm sorry, I've got the wrong number," he said just before he abruptly hung up.

I called him right back.

"Jim, why did you hang up on me?" I asked.  "Why did you say this was the wrong number when you knew it was me?"

"I hung up because the guy I was taking to wasn't Benson Medina.   The Benson Medina I know wouldn't be crying like a little girl when the going gets tough.   This guy had his head so far up his ass that he couldn't tell if it was day or night," he said.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.   But I listened closely to one of the best pieces of advice I ever recieved.

"Life is tough, Ben.  Whatever it is you believe or hold close to your heart will be challenged everyday. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.  Use the talents that God gave you and don't give up just because things start going south.  You already have the answers inside you, so pull your head out of your ass and figure this thing out!"

I eventually did get it figured out, but the larger lesson was understanding the power of Jim's phone call. He didn't give me any advice that would help me to solve my problem, but what he did give me (that was much more valuable) was a big boost in my "self-belief."  He reminded me of the talents and skills I had forgotten about because I was putting so much energy on feeling sorry for myself.

That experience taught me that the greatest gift we can give anyone is to believe in them, especially when they lose belief in themselves.  We know that God believes in us and that we believe in ourselves (most of the time), but every human needs that "third party validation" from another person that reminds us of our true inner power, re-establishes our self-confidence and boosts our resourcefulness.

We need to do this regularly for others, without solictation, cause or expectation.   We need to do this because when we express our belief in others, we expand our belief in ourselves.